that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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