did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
