I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
