scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
