we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
