Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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