She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
