It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
did i just pee glitter
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
