Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm really busy with my period
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