I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
