Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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