I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
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I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
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We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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