Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
