Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
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