you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
