My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize