you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
