it wasn't lemon gatorade
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize