Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
