Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
