remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize