my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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