Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
