He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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