I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
