So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
