im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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