Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
