yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
