i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
