Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
where are my eyebrows?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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