The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
