He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
