i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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