Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
