i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
