bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
