bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
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His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
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The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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