can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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