Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sorry my hands just texted you
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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