And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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