If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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