Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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