Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
