Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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