How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
