Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
