So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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