Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
