In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Randomize