oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
People in love make me want to vomit
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
