The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
