Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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