So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
