just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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