I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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