Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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