I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
