Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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