Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
