Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
