i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
