if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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